Strictly speaking, in the small city of Xihe, Wang Zixu’s unit is the envy of countless people.
There is less work, no tiredness, the salary level is average, and although you are not full, you will definitely not starve to death. This is the dream destination of many people.
However, whenever Wang Zixu had the idea of eating and waiting to die, his father's haggard smile would appear in front of his eyes again, floating and floating, lingering.
He saw lessons from his father. It only took a few years for the father to go from being a tough-necked person to becoming gentle enough to apologize to his son. The power of time is so great.
Or that is not the power of time, but the inevitable end of this species. As we age, humans must learn to accept, and in the process wear out, slowly becoming a different person.
But there are two things in this world that can resist the invasion of time. One is power, the other is money.
Power and money can support people. They are two twine ropes produced in heaven, which can make the humble become great, the hypocritical become real, and the inferior become noble. If you grab them, you will have the chance to go straight to heaven.
If you want to pull yourself out of the whirlpool of life, you must at least grab one of them. Wang Zixu knew that he had no talent for business, so he began to look for any opportunity to restore his status as a civil servant.
He began to actively seek information. After toasting a lot of drinks he didn't want to toast and meeting a lot of people he didn't want to see, as the old classmate said, he didn't get any guarantees, but got many "opportunities."
These opportunities seemed wonderful, but when Wang Zixu stepped into them, he realized that they were all pitfalls one after another. He worked tirelessly for those "opportunities", and in the end, they all became wedding dresses for others.
All his dedication has become a pavement for others. Always when he was busy with everything and happily waiting for the dawn of the next day, a guy he had never seen before came out of the assassination, waved to him, and said, I'm sorry, buddy, jump in the queue.
Those who jump in line have their own reasons, and they are all very legitimate. It is definitely not because of family ties or nepotism. Of course, they do have nepotism. But you cannot deny others legitimate reasons for jumping in line just because they do have nepotism. This is not a crime scene and the presumption of guilt does not apply.
After wasting a lot of time and emotions, Wang Zixu finally realized that there is no fairness in the world. If you don't want to jump in line, you will only be cut in line. Thinking about it, he had no reason to jump in line, so from the beginning, the "opportunity" he saw did not exist.
He once thought that if he worked hard to seize every opportunity, he would live a happy life. But in fact, the product of happy life has already been reserved by others, and it will not be sold to him in the first place. Putting it on the counter was just to trick an honest person like him into taking a look.
In the passage of time, he finally grew old.
…
The straight-line distance between Wang Zixu’s unit and his home is no more than 800 meters, and it takes less than 10 minutes to walk home. As a result, I get off work at 5:30 now and often don’t get home until after 6:00.
It’s not because the unit works a lot of overtime.
There is a yard downstairs in his house. Surrounded by neatly trimmed shrubs, there is a flat sandy area with red and blue fitness equipment on it. Maybe it’s because there’s a lot of dog poop, so there are usually fewer people there.
Wang Zixu once disliked Shit and was unwilling to come, but later he discovered that this small territory guarded by Shit could be said to be the soul place of his dreams.
This place is very close to his life and work, but also separated by a distance, so sitting here, I can detach myself from the two and objectively examine my own life.
After get off work, he would sit on the squat machine, light a few cigarettes, and in the smoke, think about death countless times and why he was born.
Since he was bound to be unable to achieve his dreams and the things he liked as soon as he was born, then why was he born and why did he grow up to be what he is now? If there is a God in the world, why would God throw so many depressed people into this melting pot to suffer? What is he planning?
He thought, if God were an official, that idiot would definitely say, I let you live, just to provide you with a chance to live. I don’t guarantee how you will live, I only guarantee that you will die. You either accept it or give it up, but always remember, you don’t live, some people live.
But he doesn’t understand. He doesn’t understand why everyone is born naked, why some people have three houses at birth, and why some people can live the life they want without any effort; but when he was 8 years old, he lost his mother, and when he was 28 years old, he lost the courage to live, and he lived with shit all day long.
Of course, it was his choice to be with shit. The life he leads today is his own choice. There was no place to express his grievances, and if he did, he would be considered hypocritical. Because he is a man, it is natural for men to have money and power. Life seems to have choices, but some things are already destined.
When he thought about dying, he was actually relieved, and all that was left was to convince himself. Since that dick guarantees his own death, it doesn't matter whether he dies today or 50 years from now. Since you are always going to die, you might as well do something you like before you die.
He actually hates drinking and socializing. It is better to eliminate these two things from his life first and then let him do this. Then there is no need to pursue the opportunity to change his identity. No matter which identity he is, he is just being played around.
It suddenly occurred to him that before becoming a civil servant or a professional, his identity should be a literature lover. Instead of worrying about whether you should be a civil servant or a career worker, it is better to do what a literary lover should do.
So he began to read books from China, Russia, Europe, and America. I read and read, and I felt sorry for Lu Xun, Tuo Weng, and those outstanding writers who were not recognized by the Nobel Prize countless times. The Nobel Prize is not awarded to the dead. This is not the sorrow of the dead, but the regret of the living.
But he suddenly changed his mind. Since the Nobel Prize is not awarded to dead people, then thinking about it in reverse, as long as you are alive, you have a chance to get it. It’s not like someone else’s name was written on this cunt thing from the beginning. If I can live for 50 years, I will have 50 chances to get it, so why can I say that he will not be able to do it?
At this moment, he seemed to see the boundless universe, all the people in the world, and his tiny self among the bustling crowd. He saw that all life on earth that was heading towards death was growing enthusiastically.
He saw Tolstoy, saw Lu Xun, saw Lu Xun's lips twitching, and said to him: "I am chilled during the enthusiasm of Hao Ge; I see the abyss in the sky. I see nothing in all eyes; I am saved from hopelessness... When I become dust, you will see my smile."
He could not live the future life as he wanted, so he decided to live the life he wanted to live in all days.
……
王子虚从府办大楼出来时，阳光正好，路上车水马龙。
He had just rejected an opportunity to enter the center of power, but he did not feel it was a pity. He walked hopefully on the street. People were coming and going on the street. He was in a relaxed mood. There was no better day than today.
This small city spread out in his field of vision, revealing its internal organs. He didn't lose to the city today either. Looking at the distant skyline, he just felt that there was a lot to be done in the vast world.