Chapter 99: Insect Diary
Changes in the environment will affect the state of mind, and changes in the state of mind will affect the creation of novels. In theory, writers are relatively fragile, and their adaptability to the environment is worse than that of some insects.
Therefore, Chen Qingluo was determined to write the complete "Beauvoir's Dedication" at the Ningchun Yanjia, and the Ning family also expressed their understanding. Ning Chunyan's family was immersed in literature. They were well aware of the writer's little quirks and were quite tolerant of her.
Kafka said in his diary that when he was writing "The Metamorphosis", due to an unexpected business trip, the second half was not written well. This made him very sad - Kafka was like this, let alone others - even though "The Metamorphosis" was already perfect, it was hard to see how the business trip had affected it.
But Wang Zixu believed that if time could be turned back and Kafka was told not to go on that business trip, maybe he would be more confident in "The Metamorphosis". Because this book is infinitely close to the most ideal novel in concept. If it were more perfect, it would have been written by the God of Fiction himself.
If there had not been that business trip, maybe Kafka would have had the confidence to submit "The Metamorphosis" to a newspaper, and it would have been published. Kafka would have become famous for a while and then published one novel after another - so that he would not have to wait until his death to become famous.
It was just a business trip that affected a writer's life and caused an eternal tragedy in the history of literature. This shows how fragile the writer is as an animal.
Wang Zixu felt that he might follow in the footsteps of Kafka.
The last part of his novel was completed in the hospital. He was lying on a white hospital bed. The nurse came over every few hours to give him an injection with a very rough technique; there was an old man sleeping in the bed next to him. He grunted all day long and coughed up phlegm at every turn.
All this made him feel very insecure.
When he was writing, he always had an illusion. He always thought that he could escape from this place after writing the novel. Then he suddenly came back to his senses and found that the novel he was writing was not directly related to the hospital, so he was very frustrated. But he must finish the novel quickly before he recovers from his illness, otherwise his state will be interrupted again.
This sense of precarity permeates his writing, making his entire novel like a lotus on a snow-capped mountain that may be blown to pieces by the cold wind at any time.
It stands to reason that this will inevitably lead to a separation of temperament in the front and back parts of the novel. But after he finished writing, he reviewed it six to seven times and always felt that the whole text was coherent, very natural, and even a little perfect. I couldn't find the split at all.
This may be because the tone of his novel itself is tense, and his state adds a bit of anxiety to the novel; but it is also possible that the hospital environment affects his judgment, leading to mental problems.
Anyone with creative experience knows that once you start to doubt your work, it will never end. This doubt will continue to expand like a snowball and eventually crush you.
Before the deadline, Wang Zixu almost gave up on himself. After revising and proofreading 26 times, he finally gave up on self-censorship, thinking that it would be better to do whatever he wanted than to miss the deadline.
This novel is going to be published anyway. Even if he dies, he will die standing.
He was heartbroken and dialed Ning Chunyan’s number.
…
When Ning Chunyan received a call from Wang Zixu, she was boredly combing Chen Qingluo’s hair with her fingers, while Chen Qingluo was working on her desk as usual. When Wang Zixu's voice came out of the phone, Chen Qingluo's shoulders trembled obviously, but Ning Chunyan didn't notice.
"Hey, Wang Zixu? You actually took the initiative to call me. How strange. What do you want from me?"
"I heard that you are the judge of this essay competition."
p>
Ning Chunyan nodded: "Yeah, wait a minute... You didn't come to say hello through the back door, did you? Let me declare in advance that you refuse to use the back door to find relationships. The review will be blind on the day of review, and your name will be anonymous. I can't help you."
Wang Zixu said quickly: "No... I mainly want to ask you something."
Ning Chunyan listened for a while and then understood his request: Wang Zixu's essay call has been written. In principle, he should send the manuscript to his unit, and then the unit will send it to the literary association collectively.
But if you hand the manuscript to your work unit, you will have to go through Gou Yingbiao. The relationship between Wang Zixu and Gou Yingbiao was too tense, and no one knew whether he would secretly cause any obstacles, so he turned to Ning Chunyan to ask if there was any public submission channel.
“There are definitely channels for public submission, but it’s troublesome to submit it there, and it’s easy to get called back. You can just send the manuscript to me directly, and I will hand it over directly to the Literary and Art Association.”
After considering the sentence for a moment, Wang Zixu said: "Will this leave any clues?"
"Please, what clues are there? I can just forward your manuscript to an acquaintance, I will They don’t even look at it.”
Ning Chunyan felt that there was something cunning and cunning about Wang Zixu’s cautiousness. Maybe it was his unique survival philosophy, and he didn’t know what forced him to be like this.
Wang Zixu said: "Thank you, then. I originally planned to find Brother Lin Feng, but he may be busy with creation, so I didn't dare to disturb him."
"You are afraid of disturbing him, but you are not afraid of disturbing me?"
"I feel that you should be more free..."
"I feel offended by you."
"You must be too sensitive."
Ning Chunyan said while combing Chen Qingluo's hair: "By the way, your "Wild Mane", I have already voted for "Yangtze River" for you."
Wang Zixu said: "Oh. Thank you."
"Don't you ask why "Yangtze River"?"
Before Wang Zixu could answer, there was a sound like a slaughtering pig in the background of the phone.
Ning Chunyan asked: "What are you doing over there?"
Wang Zixu said: "I'm in the hospital. The bed next to me is giving injections, something seems to have gone wrong. I've been hospitalized recently."
Ning Chunyan combed his hair with his fingers: "Are you sick? Why are you hospitalized?"
Wang Zixu said: "A bit overworked."
Ning Chunyan played with Chen Qing Luo's hair: "Which hospital are you in? Let me come and see you."
"Huh? No need."
"Just say you are in Which hospital, which floor, and what bed number? ”
Because she “failed to protect Chen Qingluo” last time, Ning Chunyan was forced to stay in seclusion with her for the past few days, and she was so depressed at home that she felt moldy.
By using the excuse of visiting Wang Zixu, she could go out with peace of mind, otherwise she would really get claustrophobia.
Under her strong request, the prince falsely reported his coordinates.
“I’ll be there in half an hour. Don’t leave the hospital for half an hour.” Ning Chunyan joked with him.
Wang Zixu said a little tiredly: "Oh, I have to stay for one more day."
Ning Chunyan hummed a song and hung up the phone. Suddenly, she found that Chen Qingluo was in front of the computer, her fingers hanging on the keyboard, motionless and dumbfounded.
“What’s wrong with you?” Ning Chunyan asked, “You don’t really know Wang Zixu, do you?”
"I don't know." Chen Qingluo replied immediately. She continued typing on the keyboard as if she had been wound up.
It is etiquette not to bring fruit when visiting a patient. Ning Chunyan plundered some oranges and apples from home, and suddenly thought that given Wang Zixu's character, it would be better to bring him some spiritual food instead of food. She was about to go to the study to find a book when she suddenly found Chen Qingluo lying on the edge of the door staring at her.
“What are you doing?”
Chen Qingluo shrank into the door, only revealing one dark eye: “Are you going to the hospital?”
“Yes.”
“Oh.”
Ning Chunyan felt that she was hesitant to speak, and suddenly thought that with her naughty personality, she might be waiting for him to invite her to go to the hospital with him.
“Why don’t you come with me. Anyway, you are not in a writing state now.”
“Who said that?” Chen Qingluo went back to the room.
“…”
Ning Chunyan shrugged and went downstairs. Looking up, she found Chen Qingluo standing on the balcony staring at her sadly.
She shuddered: "What are you doing? This woman is so scary!"
She put her hands in front of her mouth and shouted: "Come down! I'll wait for you!"
Chen Qingluo disappeared from the balcony. After a while, Ning Chunyan received a text message: "I'm not going."
"..."
Ning Chunyan was not her boyfriend, so he had no energy to guess her thoughts. As she walked on the road, she thought, Chen Qingluo, a weirdo, didn't know who she would marry in the end.
No matter who she would marry, she would pity that man anyway.
Wang Zixu hung up the phone and stared blankly at the wall, putting his notebook aside.
After finishing writing the manuscript yesterday, he fell asleep for a full 12 hours, as if he had saved up all the sleep he owed in the previous two days and slept together.
"Hello, I brought you something to eat."
Ye Lan walked in with a lunch box in her hand. She was wearing a navy blue suspender dress today, and her figure filled the dress to its full capacity.
Wang Zixu was stunned. He didn't expect Ye Lan to come here today.
The woman put the lunch box on his small table, sat down on the side with a huff, made a small fan with her palm, and unbuttoned her clothes to fan: "It's so hot."
"Didn't you say you wouldn't come over today?" Wang Zixu asked.
"I didn't plan to come over originally," Ye Lan drank water, "but idle time is idle. Besides, taking care of our company's core assets is also one of my jobs."
"How about Qingyan over there?"
Ye Lan sneered: "Overestimated They were on the verge of a formidable enemy, but our data was not affected at all, and their data did not increase much." Wang Zixu frowned: "It shouldn't be."
"Why shouldn't it be?" Ye Lan turned around in surprise.
“Since they used my script, they shouldn’t have failed to increase the data.” Wang Zixu said seriously, “They must have used it wrong.”
Ye Lan was speechless for a while. She really couldn't understand this weird world.
“Zixu, I’m here to see you...”
The soft whispers coming from the door are like cotton wool, scratching straight into the ears, making people feel itchy and comfortable.
The two of them looked up at the same time, and saw a slender figure appearing at the door, with waist-length hair pouring down like a dark waterfall. In the setting sun, Ning Chunyan's whole body seemed to be glowing.
When Ning Chunyan saw Ye Lan next to Wang Zixu, the spring-like smile on his face instantly faded and became shy. He walked over in small steps and put the fruit on the table next to him, and put a book on the small table in front of him.
"Have you read all the literature books? You probably haven't read this book, so I brought it to you."
Wang Zixu picked up the book and read it. It was "Insects" by Fabre.
“Isn’t this a must-read book for middle school students?” Wang Zixu looked through it and asked.
Ning Chunyan looked like a little girl, and sat down beside his bed cautiously, while saying: "Did you read it when you were in middle school?"
"No. This book was too expensive for me at that time."
"It's better that you haven't read it."
Two women, Ning Chunyan and Ye Lan, sat on one side of the bed and the other on the other side, separated by Wang Zixu, the two women looked at each other in silence.
At this time, the thoughts in their hearts were very similar:
Unexpectedly, Wang Zixu’s wife was quite beautiful.
Rather, it’s a bit too beautiful.
…No, why should he?
(End of this chapter)