Chapter 118 You have grown taller
Then he collapsed at the sight of him.
Chen Qingluo’s eyes were still the same, no exaggerated eye shadow, no gorgeous contact lenses. She looked at him like a high school girl looking at her classmate, not pretentious, not pretending to be deep, just looking at him blankly, looking at him without any title, without any meaning, just Chen Qingluo looking at Wang Zixu.
Although 12 years, 3 months and 5 days plus one day had passed, her look in her eyes made him return to that summer. Only then did he realize that the trivial things about her were so stubborn. So many major life events rolled by, and his memories were dim and blurred. He could only remember her sight. At the moment they met, he even wanted to say, I'm back.
Unknowingly, Wang Zixu had been standing still for too long, and the host kindly repeated: "Please come to the stage to accept the award."
Some people thought he was shy and applauded him in the audience. Some people murmured, why is this person so good-humored? Isn't the pomp and ceremony not big enough? Some people also laughed and said that this person was knocked unconscious by the big prize from the sky. Others say, aren’t these awards all determined by default? What to pretend?
The most surprised and excited people are those who know Wang Zixu. Especially the colleagues in his former unit were so noisy that they almost broke the piece. But no matter how much they argue, they can't change the fact that the first-place winner is the Wang Zixu everyone knows.
Some of the discussion reached Wang Zixu’s ears, but he didn’t care. At this moment, none of these things made sense. The first prize in the literary society even lost its practical significance to him.
He walked towards the stage and met Chen Qingluo’s gaze. He tried his best to appear confident, as if he had already calculated that he would win the first prize. This way he can be cooler in Chen Qingluo's eyes, at least he won't look so clumsy.
But in retrospect, it is already very uncool for him to live to the age of 30 and still hang out in a small place like Xihe, asking his former high school classmates to present awards to him. He was very frustrated and wanted to run away, but unfortunately he couldn't.
He began to regret why he didn't change into something more decent like the others. His clothes were rumpled and out of shape, as if he had just finished a basketball game.
Chen Qingluo stood on the stage, secretly tearing her lower lip with her teeth. There is Wang Zixu in his eyes.
She tried hard to put on a majestic posture befitting her status as a special guest, put on a straight smile on her face, and tried not to raise the corners of her mouth too high, but after a while the muscles on her face stiffened.
She didn’t know whether to put her hands in front of her or behind her, or whether to put her weight on her left foot or her right foot. She didn’t know how she should react when Wang Zixu walked up to her, or whether she should talk to him.
In short, her mind went blank, she just felt that she must look stupid, and she would be exposed to Wang Zixu in a while. Wang Zixu, come up quickly, I'm going to die of panic.
The distance between the two people only seemed very long in their world. In the eyes of the spectators, it flashed by. Wang Zixu finally stood on the stage, face to face with Chen Qingluo. He was 1.79 meters tall without shoes, and over 1.8 meters tall with shoes on. Chen Qingluo was 1.6 meters tall, so she could only look up at him.
The prince opened his mouth slightly in a dull manner, and was about to say hello, tell her that he had not forgotten her, and at the same time inquire whether she had forgotten him, but he felt that his throat seemed to be blocked by something and he could not make a sound. Chen Qingluo also stared at him without saying a word. Both may be waiting for the other to speak first. The etiquette lady next to me came over just in time, took Wang Zixu's arm and gently pushed him to a position where the camera could better see, and whispered to him to just stand here.
Wang Zixu looked back at Chen Qingluo in despair. He found that she was looking at him with similar eyes, and their eyes met again. Wang Zixu felt his heart beat slowly for half a beat.
He wanted to know: Does she still remember me?
Zhao Peilin said that Chen Qingluo slapped Professor Zhong on the table for his manuscript. From this, it can be inferred that she still remembers him. But after she patted the table, she didn't call him. She just wanted to borrow Ning Chunyan's cell phone, but she didn't call him. From this point of view, she may not necessarily remember him.
She should not remember him. After so many years, she has not lived a bleak life like him for ten years. Her life is so colorful. What kind of idiot would miss her high school classmate who was his deskmate for only two months for twelve years... She must not remember it.
But it’s impossible to say that she doesn’t remember anything. She should still remember a little bit, but it’s definitely not as much or as rich as his memory.
He still remembered walking with her on the playground several times. Her neat sideburns and white neck were all vividly imprinted in his mind. He could even accurately tell whether the temperature that day was cold or hot, and what kind of floral scent the wind blowing in his face carried. What class had the teacher just attended at that time, what was taught in the class, and he wrote something between the lines, which made her laugh, even though it only lasted for 0.5 seconds...
He once thought that these memories that were not condensed in the photo album would be gradually forgotten, but he did not expect that now he is 30, and the most unforgettable things in life are these trivial things. These things are stronger than he imagined, and have formed the underlying code of his person. They are his origin and what he is going for.
Sometimes caring too much about someone can make you crazy. Maybe he went crazy without even realizing it. Normally, who makes 6 million yuan by winning the Nobel Prize for Literature? He had been planning for many years, maybe just to mention it with a smile when he reunited with her, you know? We all have 50 chances to win the Nobel Prize in Literature. This is the reason why he is standing here.
It’s a pity that time has changed and he no longer has the chance to say “I miss you”.
The host interrupted his thoughts: "Please ask our guests to present the award to the author."
The hostess came over with a tray, in which lay a medal, silver, made of unknown material, with a bright red ribbon.
Chen Qingluo took out the medal from the tray, held a head on the strap with each hand, looked up at the tower-like Wang Zixu, and was confused for a while. The etiquette lady next to her wanted to come up to help, but she glared back.
She walked up to Wang Zixu and stood up on her tiptoes. Wang Zixu lowered his head cooperatively. She put her hands on his shoulders, like tying a tie on him, and closed her hands behind his neck.
This is the closest the two of them have been in so many years, and it is also one of the few physical contacts in many years. He was greedy for the warmth of her breath, wanting to stay at this moment forever, and then suddenly heard her whisper:
"You have grown taller."
Wang Zixu's body was shaken.
"But why are you so tall? You're in so much trouble."
Wang Zixu thought he was hallucinating. He turned his head in shock and saw Chen Qingluo's eyes turning, with only himself in his eyes. Catching his gaze, she immediately rolled her eyes at him.
Chen Qingluo quickly backed away and returned to his expressionless state, as calm as if everything that just happened was his hallucination. Only the medal hanging impartially on Wang Zixu's chest was left.
“…”
The small movements of the two were very well controlled. Even though there were thousands of eyes staring at them, the eye contact between them was not noticed by the third person.
Wang Zixu turned around and saw Ning Chunyan looking at him, and waved his fist at him to express his congratulations. Then he saw Lin Feng again. This old man was staring at him with extremely surprised eyes, his eyes seemed to ask "Why didn't you tell me earlier?" The prince returned a slightly apologetic look, planning to explain to him later.
Of course, the most surprised look was Diao Yiwen next to him. The girl's face was red, and she seemed to be unable to accept losing to her. The look in her eyes when she looked at Wang Zixu had a strange meaning, which was quite intriguing, but Wang Zixu was too lazy to think about it.
Li Tingfang walked to the podium and began to speak. The host walked up to Wang Zixu and whispered: "Are you ready to speak?"
Wang Zixu was stunned: "What speech?"
The host said: "The senior leader will speak later. After the senior leader has finished speaking, I will have a simple interview with you."
Wang Zixu asked: "What are the main aspects?"
The host smiled and said: "It is mainly the things that everyone wants to know. , For example, when did you start writing, how many years have you been writing, what do you plan to do with the bonus, etc. I will always control the pace of the topic, don’t talk about sensitive topics, and don’t make the topic too skewed.” After saying that, she looked back at Chen Qingluo, who was a typical negative example.
Wang Zixu nodded, looking very well-behaved.
Shen Jianqiu’s speech was not lengthy. The interview mentioned by the host began immediately. The stage was handed to him. His seat was placed in the most conspicuous place under the lights. When he lowered his head, he could see the heads of the local officials in the first row.
This was the first time that Wang Zixu spoke in such a big scene. He wanted to laugh when he thought that he was standing here in wrinkled clothes, making the entire serious scene so unserious.
He saw Zhang Qian in the second row staring at him with a complicated expression. The woman might still be thinking something terrible, but he didn't care. His mood suddenly became very good, he no longer feared anything, no longer hated anyone, and he no longer cursed the world.
The host said: "Hello Wang Zixu, you won the first prize of the Xihe Literary Society today. Everyone wants to know you. When did you start writing?"
Wang Zixu said: "Third grade."
The host asked: "Did you start trying to write so early?"
"The teacher forced me to write a composition. I didn't take the initiative to try."
There was a burst of laughter from the audience. The host stared at him, are you serious?
Didn’t you just say you shouldn’t be too outrageous?
“Then when did you take the initiative to try writing and do some serious writing?”
“Twelve years, three months and five days ago.”
There was a burst of laughter from the audience.
The host asked: "So precise?"
Wang Zixu said: "Accuracy is the first requirement of writing."
The host started to sweat on his forehead and asked: "What motivates you to write?"
Wang Zixu said: "Money."
There was another burst of laughter.
The host asked: "Apart from the royalties?"
"There should be some other reasons, but I can't say it openly, but the main reason is the royalties."
There was another burst of laughter in the audience. The host's scalp was numb and he said dryly: "At least you sound honest."
"Honesty is one of the most valuable qualities of a writer."
After Wang Zixu finished speaking, Ning Chunyan covered his mouth and laughed. This sentence was exactly the same as what Chen Qingluo said in the previous interview. The host did not dare to ask anymore. If he continued to ask questions, it would be another Chen Qingluo-level live broadcast disaster.
“The judges and teachers commented that your writing is as sharp as a knife and as elegant as a painting. What unique secrets do you have for improving your writing?”
Wang Zixu thought for a while and said: "Lost in love."
"Trial?"
"Lost in love."
There was a burst of laughter from the audience.
The host said: "Which lovelorn are you talking about?"
"It's the lovelorn one," Wang Zixu said, "It's best to fall in love and then get dumped."
"Why?" The host was really curious this time.
“Because literature is mainly a work of art for failed people.”
After he finished speaking, the audience did not laugh.
Wang Zixu added: "The greatest writers and poets in our country have all failed in their lives. Qu Yuan, Li Bai, Du Fu, Cao Xueqin... There is joy when they are proud and bold in their works, but they are generally sad, and their own lives are miserable.
“It is always in misery that people can extract something, and then express these things and convey them to others. This kind of emotion condensed by failure is like the wine produced after fermentation of grain, which will form a strong spiritual power.
"And life is always full of failures. Even those who are successful have had many darkest moments of failure, even more than ordinary people. The content contained in literature can allow them to repeatedly stir up the emotions they have experienced. This kind of experience can only be provided by literature.
"Of course, I am not saying that only failed people will read literary works. Everyone here is a literature lover. I wish everyone can succeed and live their ideal life. I mean, everyone fails, it's part of life.
"Everyone wants to succeed, but success and failure are two sides of the same coin. It is difficult to separate failure. It may not necessarily be a failure like Du Fu's that ruined the country and the family, but everyone will experience some pain. Literature is a good medicine to treat this part. It allows us to precipitate something from the pain. These things West can support our spirit.
“There are many kinds of books in the world, including reference books, success studies, technical books, teaching aids... But literature, from fairy tales to poetry, from "The Little Match Girl" to "The Romance of the Three Kingdoms", what touches people's hearts is the eternal failure. These are the things that shape our souls. Only by understanding them can we know what happiness is. "
The host thought thoughtfully and said: "Then why is it lovelorn..."
"Because in modern society, falling out of love is often the first failure that everyone suffers." Wang Zixu said, "I dare say that before falling out of love, many people can't read the articles in Chinese textbooks."
The host said: "I actually think what you said makes some sense."
"It makes sense."
...
The interview ended quickly. Wang Zixu returned to the corner and secretly glanced at Chen Qingluo, but she always caught the eye of Ning Chunyan next to her. This sunny and lively girl interacted with him cheerfully, which made Wang Zixu very embarrassed.
But Chen Qingluo didn’t even look at him.
After the award ceremony, the senior leader withdrew. The host asked him and several award-winning contestants to wait in the government office living room, saying that the senior leader wanted to meet and chat with them.
When he arrived in the living room, he had the opportunity to talk to Lin Feng about his own affairs, but Diao Yiwen came to talk to him first.
(End of this chapter)