Chapter 145 I'm not here to give a speech
"Sister Xiaochun, I'm leaving." Lu Qingxuan stood at the door holding her skirt, "The symposium has already begun."
"Well, let's go."
Ning Chunyan didn't even raise his head, focusing on his phone. The little prince didn't reply to her message for 5 minutes.
Lu Qingxuan hesitated for a moment and said, "You haven't told me when you will come to work."
Ning Chunyan looked up and said "Oh" as if he suddenly realized, "You can come over after school, flexible work system. Anyway, this is the case for the past few days... After all, we don't have many manuscripts on hand."
Lu Qingxuan said: "Do you need me to appeal to the courtyard? I can ask students to submit more submissions to the magazine."
Ning Chunyan said: "Yes, but I don't want to make the magazine's tone like the campus magazine of Nanjing University, understand? The quality of students is also uneven. If you receive a lot of scrap manuscripts, you will still have to spend time reviewing them. "
Lu Qingxuan nodded: "I will try to use a stern tone to make them aware of themselves."
Ning Chunyan is sincerely happy for her seriousness, but she cannot bear to criticize her naivety - she has been a magazine editor before and has seen the scene of "manuscripts flying in like snowflakes".
Most passionate writers have no such thing as self-awareness. During the time when Ning Chunyan was an editor, he was tortured both physically and mentally. After quitting my job, I accidentally picked up those "works by famous writers" that I had previously lacked interest in. When I read them, it was like drinking water and I couldn't stop it. It turned out that these people wrote so well. It was because I was blind before.
Lu Qingxuan heard footsteps behind her. She turned around and saw a familiar face appearing in the corridor. She was a girl.
"Is this the "New Award" magazine office?" the girl asked, holding a mobile phone in her hand.
Lu Qingxuan recalled: "Diao Yiwen?"
Diao Yiwen took off the sunglasses on her head: "I heard that we are recruiting part-time editors here, what are you..."
Lu Qingxuan opened the door: "Please come in. I'm here too. I'm applying for a part-time job. Editor-in-chief Ning is inside."
Diao Yiwen walked into the room and raised her hand when she saw Ning Chunyan: "Long time no see, talented woman Ning."
Ning Chunyan put down her phone and sat up straight: "Long time no see."
Diao Yiwen sat down opposite her: "I want to apply for an editor job. ”
“Do you have an editing certificate?”
“Yes, I have a junior editing certificate”
Diao Yiwen handed over the small red book with both hands. Ning Chunyan looked at the date: "You just took the exam?"
"Yes, after all, in addition to reviewing at home in the past few months after resigning, I took the exam for this certificate."
Ning Chunyan raised his eyes and looked at her: "You resigned too? Why, were you influenced by Wang Zixu?"
Diao Yiwen carefully considered her words: "How should I put it? It must have been a little affected. He is 30 years old, and he has the courage to risk everything. I think, I am so young, I am not inferior to him."
Ning Chunyan flashed his eyes: "Then why do you want to resign?"
Diao Yiwen thought for a while and raised her eyes: "I don't want to become a mediocre person."
"You can become an extraordinary person without resigning."
Diao Yiwen shook her head: " No, when I was in that unit, the older people in the unit coaxed me, and my peers all coaxed me. I felt very comfortable at first, but then I suddenly realized that it was because they were not as good as me. That’s why I felt comfortable. If I wanted to grow, I had to go to a place where I felt uncomfortable.
"It's like a warm quagmire there, sucking people in, and over time, you are assimilated. I didn't notice it before, but then Wang Zixu went crazy in the work unit, and I suddenly realized that I don't know when, I have the same face as those people in the work unit. I don't want to be like this."
Ning Chunyan took a sip of water: "What you gave me The impression is completely different from before. "
"Is it getting better or worse?"
"You have become self-aware." Ning Chunyan said, "Only those who want to do something are complete people, but it is hard to say whether it will get better or worse, because that thing may also destroy you."
Diao Yiwen said: "Thank you. I hope to become complete, so it is good for me."
Lu Qingxuan originally wanted to attend the lecture, but for some reason her feet were rooted and could not move, so she simply sat aside and listened to the conversation between the two.
Ning Chunyan looked curious: "What happened to the leader of your unit? What happened to Zhang Qian?"
Diao Yiwen said: "As soon as Wang Zixu left, both of them were investigated. Director Gou went in with both hands; Zhang Qian was punished and took a long leave. Later, I heard that she was hysterically breaking things in the unit and seemed to have some mental problems, so she was transferred to a very marginal unit. I didn't know much about it. ”
Ning Chunyan clapped her hands and laughed and said: "You deserve it! But Zhang Qian feels relieved. She is such a hateful person, but she can still serve in the system. It doesn't hurt." It's anecdotal, it's very profitable." Ning Chunyan curled his lips and said, "It's a suicide attack. Can you say that it's profitable? It’s just a preparation! Isn’t it because they look down on Wang Zixu? Wait and see, in a few years, they will know that their small pond is only enough to raise turtles, and what will fly out will be dragons.”
Diao Yiwen smiled slightly and asked, "Did Wang Zixu come to apply for the job?"
Ning Chunyan nodded: "He just left. In fact, I asked him to focus on his works in the past few months and compete for the Feishi Literary Award. Maybe he will come to work less often."
Diao Yiwen Somewhat surprised: "He is still planning to win the Feishi Literary Award? Didn't you tell him? His opponent Shi Shuqiu is Shi Tonghe's son."
Ning Chunyan looked hesitant and said, "You also know? I don't plan to tell him, for fear of affecting his mentality."
Lu Qingxuan straightened up. Shi Shuqiu is Shi Tonghe's son? This was the first time she heard the breaking news.
Diao Yiwen said: "If I were him, I would definitely not participate this time. I will save my work for next time. Do you know that there is a carrot pit in administrative positions? This time it is also a carrot pit. Knowing that it is a carrot pit, you still jump into it. This is asking for trouble for yourself."
Ning Chunyan fell into a tangle. Intellectually Diao Yiwen was right, but emotionally she didn't want to do that.
In her opinion, even though she knew Shi Shuqiu’s background and still submitted the manuscript, even if she did not win the first prize, it was not considered a failure; avoiding Shi Shuqiu’s edge and leaving the manuscript until later was a real failure.
Should you run away cowardly or die stupidly? Humans can never make a good choice between the two.
……
The symposium progressed to the question-and-answer session.
Wang Zixu is still sleeping.
The girls sitting in the back row had already begun to lose focus. The girl with wavy hair asked: "How is the situation in the front row now?"
"Don't ask. It's not fun."
Girl Qi Liuhai took out her mobile phone and said: "There is a girl from the outer courtyard sitting in the front row, let me ask."
After a while, she raised her head and said: "Zixu has been sleeping."
There was a burst of sneers among the girls in the back row, and the girl with long eyelashes whispered: "Fortunately, Lao Zhang is not here, otherwise we might be criticized for our bad style and discipline."
Lao Zhang is their class counselor, and he is very talkative. He chews them for two hours every week in the class meeting.
The girl with long eyelashes put her chin on her hands: "It's boring, Lu Qingxuan isn't here either. I thought Shi Shuqiu was going to perform."
The girl next to her quickly patted her: "Keep your voice down. Look, Shi Shuqiu is getting up."
The host pointed to the first row, and Shi Shuqiu stood up and said to the microphone: "Teacher Yan Zishan, I want to ask you a question."
Yan Zishan nodded lightly. He was familiar with Shi Tonghe, but he had never seen Shi Shuqiu before, so he didn't recognize him.
Shi Shuqiu said: "I am actually very unsure of myself..."
When he said this, many students present laughed.
Yan Zishan looked at the students inexplicably, not knowing what the point of the joke was. Most of the people present were students from the Chinese Department, and they all knew Shi Shuqiu. His saying that he was not confident was equivalent to O'Neal saying that he was not very good at shooting. This was a joke that only belonged to a small circle.
Shi Shuqiu continued: "I have written many novels. Maybe it is because of my selfish mentality. I always feel that my stuff is the best. I show it to my friends and they all say it is good. However, I can't judge and am not sure whether it can penetrate the readers' hearts. . I would like to ask you if you have the same experience or feeling? How can you be sure that you are good at writing?"
Wang Zixu was awakened by the sound, his closed eyes opened a little, and then closed again.
Yan Zishan thought for a moment and said:
“You probably mean that you are not confident and you don’t know whether what you write is good, right?”
Shi Shuqiu nodded, and Yan Zishan continued: "Show it to others. If they say yes and are fascinated by it, and it is not a compliment or a courtesy, but you see it in your heart, then it is good."
Shi Shuqiu said into the microphone: "Teacher Yan Zishan, I didn't make it clear just now, but I still have a little ambition. , I want to make something famous in literature so that people will remember me. So how do I know that I can write better than others? If literary authorities say that I write well, but the public says that I write poorly, who should I listen to? "
The host said: "This classmate wants to ask a question about the scale of literary value."
Shi Shuqiu pinched his fingers: "It's not just about the literary value scale, I want to ask, as a writer, how should I face my own works and values? I have created many works, but I find that I can easily fall into a kind of nihilism."
The host asked: "This classmate has written many works?"
Shi Shuqiu nodded: "Well, I am currently a member of the Chinese Literature Association."
The host looked surprised, and many students present moved their eyes to look at him.
Shi Shuqiu puffed up his chest.
Yan Zishan took a serious look at him, but to Shi Shuqiu's regret, he did not ask his name. Yan Zishan happened to see Wang Zixu next to Shi Shuqiu, and suddenly realized that he was sitting there sleeping.
Yan Zishan felt a little depressed: "That's what I think. Different people have different orientations towards literature. Everyone reads children's books when they are young and stop reading them when they grow up. This does not mean that children's books are not good.
"My opinion is that if your work can reach a person's heart, for that person, your work is the best. If you can write into the hearts of 10 people, it will be a treasure for those 10 people.
“If no one thinks highly of what you write, and only you can understand it, then at least the story is your own perfect story, it can satisfy yourself, and it has value.”
Applause.
Prince Xu woke up from his dream and glanced at the stage in confusion, then glanced at Shi Shuqiu next to him, and quickly sat up straight.
Shi Shuqiu then asked: "In that case, wouldn't those literary awards be meaningless?"
Yan Zishan said: "Of course literary awards have their own orientation and interest, including magazines. Their task is more to guide and guide readers to see works that are worth seeing for them.
"I have served as a judge for a literary award before, and several judges had different opinions. They had torn between the first and second place for a long time. In order to choose the first and second place, I even re-opened a separate review. In fact, I still don't feel that the second place is significantly worse than the first place..."
Having said this, he looked deeply at Wang Zixu in the audience:
"But in the end I still voted for the first place. Because to be fair, I think the first place should be seen by more people."
The host asked: "Are you talking about the last Feishi?"
Yan Zishan shook his head: "Actually, the first place in that literary competition..."
He was originally going to say that the first place in the competition would be sitting in the first row. That guy is a living specimen of an author. If he writes with his recklessness, without considering his status in the literary world, maybe his life will be much happier.
Just in the middle of speaking, he glanced at the top person in the audience and found that he was still staring in confusion. He sighed and shook his head: "Forget it."
Shi Shuqiu was standing next to Wang Zixu. When Yan Zishan glared at him, he thought he was looking at himself, and suddenly felt a little baffled.
The host signaled for the exchange of ball rights, and the microphone was passed to someone else. Shi Shuqiu sat down feeling depressed, startling Wang Zixu next to him and woke him up.
Wang Zixu asked: "Is it over?"
Shi Shuqiu's tone was cold: "No."
Wang Zixu rubbed his nose, tilted his head, and closed his eyes again.
Another student stood up and said:
“Teacher Yan Zishan, the question that classmate Shi Shuqiu just asked is also what I want to ask. I have no self-confidence, especially after being rejected many times. My self-confidence was destroyed and I even forgot how to write. I would like to ask, have you ever encountered rejection? What did you do after your manuscript was rejected? ”
Yan Zishan said: "Of course my manuscripts have been rejected, that's a lot. I come from a grassroots background and don't have much background. My parents don't even say they are writers or editors. They don't even read books. Their understanding of literature is that literacy is enough. If I hadn't taken the manuscript fee home and handed it to them, they would have always thought that I was not doing my job properly.
"When I first submitted manuscripts, they kept being rejected. I was very aggrieved at first because I thought my writing was as good as what was published in those magazines, so why should their writing be published but not mine? There was a time when I doubted whether there was something wrong with my vision.
“Later I figured it out, it’s not my problem. It’s okay with me. If I write as well as them, why should mine be published but not theirs? I have to write better than them to have a chance to be published.
"Everyone will be unconfident, unless you have connections. If you don't, then you must have a kind of integrity - no matter whether you write well or not, whether there is any reward, just keep writing, like Balzac. Keep writing and voting until you write better than others."
Another round of applause.
Wang Zixu turned to Shi Shuqiu and asked: "How long will it take to end?"
Shi Shuqiu gritted his teeth: "How do I know?"
Wang Zixu rubbed his face and stared at the floor with a zombie-like expression. The chair is not good, it is too uncomfortable to sleep on.
When the host announced the end, many students were still unfinished. Only Prince Xu was granted amnesty.
Shi Shuqiu stood up suddenly and rushed to the podium. Soon Yanzishan was surrounded by enthusiastic students. Although the question and answer session was over, they still had questions.
The girl with long eyelashes turned around and said, "Let's go and listen too."
The girl with straight bangs: "Let's go."
The auditorium is a fan-shaped structure, with the center of the circle being the podium. Yan Zishan stood on the podium, and was surrounded by people.
Wang Zixu held a notebook and stood outside the circle, looking around.
“Hi.”
The wavy-haired girl patted his back, and Wang Zixu turned around and recognized her.
The girl said with a bit of fun: "When Teacher Yanzishan was giving the lecture just now, were you sleeping the whole time?"
Wang Zixu was embarrassed: "You were beaten by many people Did you see it?"
The girl said: "Why don't you listen? Don't you understand?"
The prince was stunned, and then nodded casually: "Yes, I don't understand very well."
The girl said: "Do you know who the person sitting next to you just now is?"
Before Wang Zixu had time to ask, the staff over there came out to maintain order: "Students, Teacher Yanzishan has a schedule for the next time, and we can't stay any longer. Please evacuate and let the teacher leave!"
When the students heard this, they immediately shouted louder and louder. Wang Zixu was asked by Lin Feng to ask for an autograph and could not let him go, so he squeezed in like a loach.
“Teacher Yan Zishan, please sign your name for me!”
Yan Zishan had already picked up his bag, but when he turned around and saw Wang Zixu, he paused and turned around.
The staff nearby reminded: "Teacher Yan Zishan, we are already waiting over there."
Yan Zishan said: "It's okay, I'll just sign his autograph."
After saying that, he looked up at Wang Zixu and said, "You also want my autograph?"
Shi Shuqiu was stunned and turned to look at Wang Zixu. Judging from his tone, Yan Zishan knows this napping guy?
Wang Zixu knew that Yan Zishan had misunderstood, and said: "Then I want two signatures."
Yan Zishan He snorted coldly, took out his pen and said, "You really came to the East China Sea?"
Wang Zixu said, "Yes, I'm here."
Yan Zishan wrote a paragraph to Wang Zixu, and signed his name at the end. Before Wang Zixu had time to read what he wrote, he kept saying:
"I also have a friend who asked me to ask you for an autograph. It is the third place in the Xihe Literary Society last time, named Lin Feng. He wants to ask you for an autograph."
Yan Zishan nodded and signed a few more casually.
A student next to him immediately shouted: "Teacher, sign your name for me too!"
The rest of the crowd immediately echoed.
Yan Zishan picked up the pen, gently put the pen cap on the pen tip, and put the pen into his breast pocket, indicating that he would stop there.
"Teacher Yan Zishan!"
Yan Zishan was not as friendly as when he spoke just now. When he got to the audience, he had an aura of indifference, turned around and squeezed through the crowd.
Wang Zixu was about to take the notebook back when he was suddenly slapped by the trio of girls behind him: "What did Teacher Yanzishan sign for you?"
He opened the notebook, showed it to them for a few seconds, then took it back and hurried out of the auditorium door.
Shi Shuqiu asked: "What did you write?"
The girls looked at each other in silence for a moment, with shock in their eyes, and did not answer him.
Yan Zishan’s signature reads: As long as you believe in yourself, you will remove all obstacles in front of you.
(End of this chapter)