Chapter 199 In the Mood for Love (6000 words)

“In a flower shop. Not long after I broke up with Zhang Qian, I got to chat with her and gradually became familiar with her...”

“Ning Chunyan said that because of Zhang Qian, you suffered a big blow.”

"Did she say that? To be honest, no."

Chen Qingluo turned to look at him: "Is this trying to be brave or a tough talk."

She was breathing a little faster just now, but now she has calmed down, and her expression is as relaxed as possible, as if she is talking about an embarrassing thing about an old friend.

Wang Zixu realized that this was the first time he had talked to her about his wife.

“It’s not about being brave or being tough-tongued. In other words, there is no difference between the two.” Wang Zixu scratched the back of his head, “Actually, I have never known how to explain this matter, but fortunately no one has ever needed me to explain it.”

“I want to hear it.”

Chen Qingluo stared at him seriously: "I want to hear it."

The only person in the world who is qualified to ask him to explain is his wife. Chen Qingluo was not qualified to ask for an explanation. But she said she wanted to hear it. This was due to her own willfulness.

Since she wants to listen, there is nothing she can do.

“At that time, I had just graduated, and my dad was urging me to get married. He forced Zhang Qian on me like assigning tasks.”

“He To assign tasks? ”

“He is extremely obsessed with letting me date Zhang Qian. If I don’t obey him... the consequences will be very serious.”

"Why are you obsessed?"

"He is a person who believes that men should get married as early as possible, and believes that marriage is the only way to turn around in life."

"You like Zhang Qian." She used a declarative sentence.

“I don’t like it.” Wang Zixu denied the statement.

“But you have been dating for half a year.”

“It is also because of my father’s obsession.”

“But you still broke up.”

“…”

If it’s just your father’s obsession, you don’t have to date; if you want to satisfy your father’s obsession, you shouldn’t break up like this. There are too many things that Wang Zixu said that cannot be justified.

At this point in the conversation, even Chen Qingluo discovered that her tone sounded like torture and had already left the category of "wanting to hear". She was asking him for an explanation.

But she can’t control this. She just stared at him, seemingly determined to knock his mouth open at once.

Wang Zixu sighed.

“Because, I have been lying to him.

“I told him that Zhang Qian and I are still dating.

"Until now, he still thinks that I am dating Zhang Qian. I have not tried to correct his idea."

Chen Qingluo's eyes were slightly reproachful: "Why are you doing this?"

Wang Zixu swallowed his saliva: "I can't say."

“I can’t say it, or I don’t want to say it.”

“I want to say it. I can’t say it.”

“Can’t you even do it to me?”

This sentence is even more transcendent. But Wang Zixu didn't mind.

“I don’t know if I should let you know.”

"I thought," Chen Qingluo took a deep breath, "Today you came to apologize to me for not telling me about this matter because you published it in "Acquisition"."

Wang Zixu weighed it for a long time before finally struggling. Di opened his mouth and said softly:

"Because he has mental illness."

"My dad, he has mental illness. Schizophrenia." Wang Zixu repeated it again.

Chen Qingluo did not speak.

"But his grade is relatively mild, he has not had many attacks, and his condition is getting better. There is a local mental hospital in Xihe, and all the patients sent to it are becoming more and more different. I can't bear to send him there. I have talked to him about his illness, but he may not always remember. He is happier when he doesn't remember."

After Wang Zixu finished speaking, he smiled apologetically at her: "He is a very strong person. If everyone knew that he was sick, the neighbors would inevitably point fingers, which would be even more detrimental to his condition. So I kept it secret."

Chen Qingluo asked: "Is the obsession you mentioned because he is sick?"

"Yes, paranoia," Wang Zixu gave a forced laugh, "I told him that I didn't like Zhang Qian. He had a strong opinion and almost killed his neighbor. Later, he even alerted the work unit. So I kept lying to him. Zhang Qian and I have always been together."

Chen Qingluo was silent for a long time before saying: "Zhang Qian has no objection."

"She She knows about my father's illness. Although she has never looked down on me and had such problems, she has never taken it from my father. "So you don't hate her."

"Why Zhang Qian?" Chen Qingluo asked.

“Because Zhang Qian has the establishment.”

This answer sounds very nonsensical, but it is actually very reasonable. It's sad to think about it carefully.

Although the root cause of his father's illness was sown more than ten years ago, the outbreak of his illness was to some extent affected by Wang Zixu's organizational problems.

He often thinks that if he had been more mature, if he had not said so many angry words, if he had not thrown all the responsibility on his head, maybe things would not have turned out like this.

It’s a pity that there is no if in the world, what happens happens, you can only accept it.

Chen Qingluo asked: "Is it okay to leave him alone in Xihe now?"

"I separated from him a long time ago. After we separated, his condition got better. His heart problem lies in the environment. After leaving the original environment, his mentality improved a lot."

"Because The original environment had too many regrets. "

"Because the original environment had too much pain." After Wang Zixu finished speaking, he said, "I think I am also one of the causes of his pain."

"You yourself."

“Because I am a worthless son,” the prince said with a false smile, “when he sees me as a worthless son, it’s as if he sees himself as a worthless son.”

Chen Qingluo lowered her head and looked at her toes quietly.

“It’s not hopeless.”

Wang Zixu forced a smile. If this sentence pattern is used too much, it becomes a meme, but if it is used here, even a funny analysis cannot save it.

Chen Qingluo raised her head and looked at him: "He is promising because he gave birth to you; you are promising because... you are you."

Wang Zixu forcefully turned his head away from looking at her and not making eye contact with her to avoid greater fluctuations in his heart. He looked around:

"I bought the house he originally rented. He lives there. He has friends and good neighbors. I ask them to help take care of it and go back every once in a while. That's all I can do." p> "Do you love your wife?"

"I am very grateful to her. If it weren't for her, I might not have been able to survive that time."

"Do you miss her now?"

"It's strange, I don't miss her very much. I think of her, but I don't miss her."

Wang Zixu added: "You must think I am heartless. I am also very surprised, why am I like this? But I really don't miss her, I am just wondering, where did she go?"

Wang Zixu finally said : "If she comes back, I will be very happy."

Chen Qingluo said: "I hope she will come back."

Wang Zixu was very happy that Chen Qingluo did not continue the topic of mental illness.

If he continues, he will have to talk about the family history of this disease. He thinks he himself is mentally ill.

Because he felt that normal people would not see Sartre or Camus squatting next to him.

There is a street diagonally opposite Qingshan Square called "There is Qingshan Here". Once here, there are branches leading to different directions.

This means they are about to say goodbye.

"Let's separate here." Chen Qingluo said, "It's time for me to go home."

"Goodbye."

"When you get to work, tell Ning Chunyan that I want to take a long leave."

Wang Zixu was stunned: "What's wrong?"

"I have new inspiration. I want to write it down now." Chen Qingluo said, "Actually, I just want to run home right now, and then go into retreat."

A strong panic and impulse emerged in Wang Zixu's heart: he wanted to keep her; he wanted to hear her say that we would see each other again. He didn't want to say goodbye to her.

He said: "Okay, then you go."

"Well," Chen Qingluo nodded, looking like a very well-behaved child, "remember our agreement."

"I will always remember."

"Yes." Chen Qingluo nodded seriously again, with no expression on her face, "We parted at 'There are green mountains here'."

 …

Wang Zixu didn’t know which agreement Chen Qingluo was talking about, the agreement in “The Brothers Karamazov” or the agreement “I’ll be with you.”

He thought about it for a long time but had no answer. Finally, he thought, he must remember it anyway. So it doesn't matter which one Chen Qingluo is talking about.

But in fact, there is still something called. If Chen Qingluo said the former, it meant that she told him to abide by his duties, not to deviate, and to stay kind and honest; if it was the latter, it meant that Chen Qingluo told him, I don't care, I will still be with you.

The more I think about it, the more she becomes like a dense fog, turning into a shadow, leaving a faint sadness in the air that lingers for a long time.

At 8 o'clock in the evening, he was driving around the city. Pu Yuyang, the editor of "Get", suddenly called me with a very excited tone.

“Zhixu, it has been officially confirmed that the symposium on “Fire in the Stone” will be held at Nanjing University!”

“Zizixu was in a daze, and it took him a while to come back to his senses: “Isn’t this bad?”

"What's wrong with this? This is obviously a great thing."

"Isn't "Yesterday's Star" also held at NTU?" Wang Zixu thought for a few seconds before he came up with an inappropriate description, "Sniper in the middle?"

"Whatever, there are too many seminars held at Nanda. Even if you want to fight against snipers, you have to fight in groups. Have you ever played exciting battlefields?"

"It's not done."

"Actually, this is not the biggest good news," Pu Yuyang deliberately let it slip, "Some people have already decided to participate. Guess who they are? I guarantee you can't guess."

Wang Zixu was a little tired and didn't want to guess: "Why do you have to guess if you can't guess?"

"Hey, why don't you just laugh?"

"Who wants to participate?"

"That's... General, the famous Gu Zao!"

Gu Zao? That Gu Zao, the leading figure among young authors? An Younan’s teacher Gu Zao? The Gu Zao who stole the headlines from him?

It’s really hard to guess.

Wang Zixu felt that she was a little too lively and asked: "Aren't you in the editorial department now?"

The original text can be found in Liu#9@书/吧!

"I got off work a long time ago," Pu Yuyang said, "Logically, I should have informed you tomorrow, but as an old classmate, I can't wait to tell you, so that you can have fun early."

"Thank you," Wang Zixu said, "But why Gu Zao? Is Gu Zao willing to come?"

“He is willing, he is quite willing.” Pu Yuyang said, “He really wants to meet you.”

Wang Zixu remembered An Younan’s words when they met today and nodded: “Okay.”

It seems that An Younan did not lie. Gu Zao really wanted to see him.

"There is more than one Gu Zao," Pu Yuyang said, "Gu Zao is the representative of young authors. Guess who else? Tip, go to your hometown."

Wang Zixu said: "Chen Qingluo."

This was his first reaction. After saying that, he felt a little disappointed. Her shadow still did not dissipate, emitting high-intensity radiation towards him.

She has already said that she is going to retreat, so she probably won’t come to his seminar.

“No—right.” Pu Yuyang said, “Guess again.”

“Ningchun Banquet.”

"That's not right. Isn't she your editor-in-chief? If you want her to participate, you can invite her yourself. Guess again."

"Lin Feng."

"Who?"

"Just say it." Wang Zixu felt that he could no longer hold on.

“Shen Qingfeng.”

Hearing this answer, Wang Zixu woke up immediately.

“Huh?”

“You are quite famous, I didn’t expect you to be so popular.” Pu Yuyang laughed loudly, “Not long after we contacted the Xihe Cultural Association, they agreed to let Shen Qingfeng participate.”

"Uh, that's not good!" Wang Zixu said, "To be honest, Shen Qingfeng and I are a bit..."

"A bit contradictory?"

It's not a bit contradictory anymore. There is a big contradiction.

"Can you not let him come?" Wang Zixu said, "The situation will be more embarrassing then."

"No! Don't worry! It's okay!" Pu Yuyang said, "The seminar is a place where you have to talk about both good and bad things. It is best to quarrel. The more fierce the quarrel, the more topical it will be."

After saying that, she added: "And if you think about it, Shen Qingfeng has many fans and is not that big in the traditional literary world. You can accept his criticism of you happily! You can earn a lot of traffic out of thin air!"

Wang Zixu was a little embarrassed: "When will traditional literature also have to be? "Look at the traffic?"

"Everyone needs to eat!" Pu Yuyang sounded in a good mood, "Anyway, you can prepare well...but then again, you have nothing to prepare."

After hanging up the phone, Wang Zixu was in a daze.

Huh?

Shen Qingfeng came to attend the seminar of "Fire in the Stone"? ?

What kind of disaster scene is this?

He could imagine how embarrassed he would be on the day of the seminar.

It happened that Chen Qingluo went to retreat at this time. If he had her support, he would feel better.

After parking the car on the side of the road, Wang Zixu dialed Lin Feng’s phone number and told him about it. Lin Feng was eating. When he heard the call, he ran out without wiping his mouth.

"Huh? Shen Qingfeng is going?" Lin Feng was shocked, "When did they report it? They didn't even get my consent!"

Wang Zixu was a little worried about his friend, the president: "Don't be ignored, right?"

"It's impossible to ignore it. I know this, but I haven't researched the official reporting target yet. Shen Qingfeng must have surpassed me and asked to participate, so why did they report it without my consent? It's broken, I've been ignored..."

"..."

On the other end of the phone, Lin Feng comforted him: "I will go talk to Shen Qing Even if I can't stop him from going, I will try to go by myself. "

"Forget it, don't come," said Wang Zixu, "What's the point of coming with Shen Qingfeng? Supporting each other? This shows that our Xihe Literary and Art Association is particularly ununited." "But if the old boy goes there, it will definitely be detrimental to you..."

"It's okay, he hasn't published a few articles in authoritative magazines. Even if he says that about me, it's just bad."

After Lin Feng listened, he thought about it and suddenly showed a smile: "That's right, you are not what you used to be."

" Then I’ll give him a lot of traffic.”

“So, I’m looking forward to him going to your seminar.”

“Well, please don’t be ignored anymore.”

"Isn't it that I need you as the vice-president to help me support the situation?" Lin Feng poured out his bitterness, "Teacher Li Tingfang backed away, the vice-president refused to accept me, and the work was difficult to carry out. I wish you could come back with a Fei Shi Literary Award. You were recommended by me. You won the award, and so did I. Be more confident! "

"Okay, I will try to win the prize, and you will also try to win the reportage prize."

After hanging up the phone, Wang Zixu took a breath of air by the river and went home.

…

As soon as he entered the door, Wang Zixu saw Ye Lan sitting on the sofa. The lights in the living room were not turned on. An old movie was playing on the projector, and a small poem was written in traditional Chinese on the black screen:

“That was an awkward confrontation,

“She kept her head down, giving him a chance to get close.

“He didn’t have the courage to approach.

“She turned around and left. "

Ye Lan turned to look at him: "You are back, why are you so late? "

"Are you watching a movie? ”

“That’s right. What a coincidence that you are back. This movie has just started. Do you want to watch it together? "

"What movie? ”

“Talk about extramarital affairs. ”

The slippers in Wang Zixu's hand fell to the ground: "Extramarital affair?"

What's wrong with you today? Why bother looking at extramarital affairs?

Then, Maggie Cheung's face appeared on the movie screen, and Wang Zixu breathed a sigh of relief: "In the Mood for Love."

"Hey! That's right! How do you know? Have you seen it? How did you know it at a glance? Wow, you are so awesome!" Ye Lan was very excited, and Wang Zixu's eyes flashed with stars.

Wang Zixu put on his slippers and came over and sat down on the sofa: "Is today Wong Kar-Wai Day?"

"No, today is 'Tony Leung Day'. I searched for movies on the Internet, and they said it was a beautiful movie about extramarital affairs, so I chose this one."

"Why did I suddenly think of watching 'An Extramarital Affair'? You are not even married, why are you watching this?"

“I don’t want to watch police movies! I chose this one. I’m tired of ordinary romance movies and want something exciting.”

Wang Zixu felt that Ye Lan would definitely be disappointed in the end, but he didn’t tell her this, which was particularly disappointing.

After sitting next to her, Wang Zixu realized that his behavior was a bit hasty.

Ms. Ye Lan was dressed too casually, with a long T-shirt on her upper body and bare legs on her lower body. Her feet were on the sofa, and her long legs were so white. Fortunately, the light was very dim and I couldn't see anything clearly, so I didn't have to think about whether I was wearing underwear under the T-shirt.

He was about to get up and walk away when Ye Lan said:

"You haven't said why you came back so late today."

"Wow, congratulations." Ye Lan stared at the screen and said without emotion.

"What's more embarrassing is that Shen Qingfeng is also coming to participate." Wang Zixu smiled bitterly, "I don't know how he will laugh at me then."

"What are you afraid of." Ye Lanyan said Staring at the screen, picking at his feet, "If he dares to ridicule you, declare on the spot that you are the little prince and give him some color."

"Huh? Why?"